Comedy Gladiators – Laugh to the death!

Thursday Night Comedy at The Drake
2 September – 30 September 8pm

Adults $22 (no booking fees!)
Tickets available from www.eventfinder.co.nz

After the hot and sexy success of ‘Sex, Lies & Improvise’,  Auckland’s premier entertainment company ConArtists present their 2010 season of ‘Comedy Gladiators’ at The Drake as part of their Thursday Night Comedy season.

This time ConArtists travel back in time…back to a more manly age…before cell phones, OSH, metrosexuality…back to the basics, mono on mono…back to the essence of raw sweaty entertainment…back to Roman times…to a time ruled by the gladiatorial struggle for life and death in the mighty Colosseum!

What could be more primal, more exciting, more thunderously entertaining than Comedy Gladiators!

See these well trained warrior actors battle one another fearlessly in a ‘laugh to the death’ tournament of improvised hilarity.

Watch as the mighty Caesar toys with the gladiators rewarding or punishing those he sees fit.

Will it be thumbs up or thumbs down?

Who will succeed as they battle it out to be the awarded the prize of supreme champion?

Only one comedy gladiator can be awarded their freedom!

As the audience your input will determine the fierceness of the fight, as you jeer or cheer the racy rip-roaring rollicking rollercoaster of improvised fisty-cuffs before you in this colossal clash of the titans.

Don’t miss out, book your tickets now!

ConArtists has new faces alongside the quick witted and wicked senior members of one of the longest and most experienced group of entertainers in New Zealand.

Cast includes:  Scott Sinclair, Penny Ashton, Geoffrey Dolan, Lori Dungey, Aaron Ward, Allan Roberts, Lindsay Brown, Moody Hikmet, Nigel Burrows, Robert Mignault, Simon Cameron, TM Bishop, Chris Neels, Eli Mathewson, Clare Kelso…plus five brand newly graduated actors to the ConArtists company!

AUSTEN FOUND: THE UNDISCOVERED MUSICALS OF JANE AUSTEN

“ConArtists are consummate performers. They make improv look so easy you’ll think you could get up and give it a go.” Theatreview; Austen Found Review May 09

“OOOOOH MISS ELIZABETH, DO PLEASE PLAY IT AGAIN.”

Addicted to Darcy?  Lost all Sense and Sensibility?  Bonkers for Big Balls?  Well put down your cross-stitching and join Auckland’s leading improv troupe, ConArtists, as they swoon, romp, and pianoforte their way through an entirely improvised Austenian Musical. Charming suitors, meddlesome mothers, tight breeches and surprisingly well educated girls will all paint a vivid picture in song, dance and passionate hand holding.

And after a 95% house at the Adelaide Fringe Festival and a completely sold out NZ International Comedy Festival, we politely suggest booking early to ensure our dance card isn’t full.

“Jane Austen would be turning in her grave with delight…Rollicking good fun!” Rip It Up Adelaide

“Improv Comedy at its finest.” Unilife Magazine Adelaide

“Austen Found: The Undiscovered Musicals of Jane Austen is the good pavlova, the one someone has taken a few goes to get just right. The brilliant version.” Waikato Times

Bringing the Bennetts to life will be veteran performer Lori Dungey, world famous Hobbit and one of the founding players of Theatresports in New Zealand.  Lori performs all over the World and has represented both New Zealand and Canada in international tournaments including the World Cup of Theatresports in Germany in 2006 and was victorious in the Improvaganza Masters of the Universe Tournament in Edmonton in 2003.

“Hot Pink” Penny Ashton is a comedienne and actor and has performed both Improv and her solo comedy shows (Hot Pink Bits, Busty Rhymes, Dirty Pink) from New York to Edinburgh to Ashburton.  She too represented NZ at the World Cup in 2006 and at the Improvaganza in 2003 and is a three times Adelaide People’s Choice Award nominee.  She is recently returned from performing her poetry at Glastonbury in the UK and reporting at Miss Universe in Las Vegas.

Nigel Burrows was one of the original members of ConArtists, and therefore brings 22 years of experience to his bulging breeches. Joining him will be Stage Three UNITEC student and High School Theatresports Champ Chris Neels and a charming Christchurch Improviser from the Court Jesters, Kathleen Burns.

Pianoforte virtuoso Robbie Ellis studied at the University of Auckland School of Music, and has worked in a wide range of theatre, from Greek tragedy to stand-up comedy via late Romantic opera and French absurdism. He is an award-winning composer, broadcaster and multi-instrumentalist. As an improv musician he has played in Melbourne and Rotterdam, and with companies around New Zealand.

“The entire cast did a magnificent job of capturing the essence of Jane Austen’s style in their parody without offending ardent fans or losing the enthusiasm of strangers to the genre.” Theatreview, May 2009

“Swept into the fantastically fictional improvised world of “Greed & Generosity”, Jane Austen’s once-lost-but-now-found musical extravaganza, I was particularly impressed…” The Lumiere Reader, May 2009

“Now why didn’t I think of that!” Jane Austen, May 1809

AUSTEN FOUND: THE UNDISCOVERED MUSICALS OF JANE AUSTEN

Herald Theatre, Aotea Centre THE EDGE, October 21 – 31, 7pm Wednesdays, 8pm Thurs – Sat, 4pm Sunday

Bookings 0800 BUY TICKETS or www.buytickets.co.nz, Service Fees Apply

Full $25, Concession and Groups 6+ $20, Information: www.conartists.co.nz

Adults $20 + BF
Concession $18 + BF
Tickets available from www.eventfinder.co.nz

SEXY LIES – a big hit with Aucklanders

ConArtists has a hit on its hands.  Three years ago they launched “Sex, Lies and Improvise”, a new show format for the International Comedy Festival, to display their expert comedy acting skills.  It was instantly a huge hit and this month it returns to ConArtists home base, The Drake, in the Victoria Park area for its fourth short season as a teaser for the longer, Comedy Gladiators – Laugh To The Death” season which follows on directly.

SLI is an adult show appealing to audiences because despite adult content based on audiences True stories and imaginative suggestions it’s done in a safe and anonymous way.  This from some of previous promotion for the show:

“If you’re keen to be titillated and don’t mind more risqué subject matter, you’ll have a ball. “Whose Line is it Anyway” meets an uncensored “Carry-On” film. Theatreview

From unbridled lust to blind dates and all the other sexy games people play, ConArtists are getting sticky with it.  And, although the stories are from the audience, ConArtists are offering protection.  The audience fill out their story suggestions BEFORE the show and all are kept faceless – like some people’s sex lives.

The ConArtists company has new faces alongside the quick witted and wicked senior members of one of the longest and most experienced group of entertainers in New Zealand.

Cast includes:  Penny Ashton, Geoffrey Dolan, Lori Dungey, Aaron Ward, Allan Roberts, Lindsay Brown, Moody Hikmet, Greg Cooper, Nigel Burrows, Robert Mignault, Simon Cameron, Stayci Taylor, TM Bishop, Chris Neels, Eli Mathewson, Clare Kelso (plus five brand newly graduated actors to the ConArtists company in July)

SLI tells stories of hook ups, break ups, bust ups and much more.  Last year the, sold out to bursting houses, show saw audience members happily suppling many interesting and surprising personal stories of love and lust.  There’s good old fashioned formats as well.  See actors desperately trying to work out, in a morning-after scenario, what famous person they slept with last night.  What excuse will they have offered to slip away and the cocktail that contributed to the tryst and the hangover?

“There’s a fine line between offensive smut and witty smut” says Clare Kelso, senior member and Creative Director of ConArtists “and I think we walk the tightrope well with the occasional crashing fall”.

“If you’re keen to be titillated and don’t mind more risqué subject matter, you’ll have a ball. “Whose Line is it Anyway” meets an uncensored “Carry-On” film…Theatreview

A second helping of live, sexy stories, brought back by pubic demand.  ConArtists gave great

performance last year but they’re all ready to go again.  Irreverent, funny-cause-it’s-true naughtiness.

From unbridled lust to blind dates and all the other sexy games people play, ConArtists are getting sticky with it.  And, although the stories are from the audience, ConArtists are offering protection.  The audience fill out their story suggestions BEFORE the show and all are kept faceless – like some people’s sex lives.

The ConArtists company has new faces alongside the quick witted and wicked senior members of one of the longest and most experienced group of entertainers in New Zealand.

Cast includes:  Penny Ashton, Geoffrey Dolan, Lori Dungey, Aaron Ward, Allan Roberts, Lindsay Brown, Moody Hikmet, Greg Cooper, Nigel Burrows, Robert Mignault, Simon Cameron, Stayci Taylor, TM Bishop, Chris Neels and Clare Kelso.

SLI tells stories of hook ups, break ups, bust ups and much more.  Last year the, sold out to bursting houses, show saw audience members happily suppling many interesting and surprising personal stories of love and lust.  There’s good old fashioned formats as well.  See actors desperately trying to work out, in a morning-after scenario, what famous person they slept with last night.  What excuse will they have offered to slip away and the cocktail that contributed to the tryst and the hangover?

“There’s a fine line between offensive smut and witty smut” says Clare Kelso, senior member and Creative Director of ConArtists “and I think we walk the tightrope well with the occasional crashing fall”.

TICKETING:       Eventfinder.co.nz

INFO:                09 307-3641

TICKETS            General $20 Concession (Students/Seniors) $18

Dates:                  April: 28^th – 29^th – 30^th May:    1^st – 5^th – 6^th – 7^th -8^th – and 12^th – 13^th – 14^th – 15th

Venue:                The Drake, 2 Drake St, Freeman’s Bay

Tickets:              $20/$18 Groups 6+ $18 and COMBO deal with Bite Me $30

Bookings:           www.eventfinder.co.nz or at the Door.

“They make improv look so easy you’ll think you could get up and give it a go..” Theatreview

After last year’s sell-out, Austen Found, ConArtists is back for a bloody good time to get your pulses racing. Drawing on a rich vein of myths, legends and Twilight rip-offs, these pallid improvisers will sing, dance and mug their undead Vampire hearts out for your living pleasure. They’ll suck, BUT it’ll be O Positive for Awesome.

Whether you’re Team Jacob, Team Edward or batting for the other team, you’re guaranteed a laugh as we illustrate that Vampires….they’re so hot right now.

Penny Ashton is a comedienne and actor and has performed both Improv and her solo comedy shows from Adelaide to Edinburgh to Gore. She represented NZ at the Theatresports World Cup in Germany in 2006 and was victorious at the Edmonton Improvaganza in 2003. She has appeared on 7 Days, Breakfast and Radio NZ National as a social commentator and was also the originator of Austen Found and has enjoyed touring it extensively since.

Nigel Burrows has performed both improv nationally and internationally for over 20 years. As a core cast member of Auckland Theatresports from 1988, Nigel also represented Auckland on two occasions for the televised Auckland and Wellington National Champs and Performed at The Edmonton Fringe- International Theatresports Champs 1991.

Clare Kelso has been a Producer, Creative Director, Actor and Mentor at ConArtists, the Home of Theatresports, for 22 years this September. Other accolades include literally thousands of public performances and winning New Zealand Playwright of the Year.

AUCKLAND

Dates: 5th – 8th and 12th – 15th 7pm
Venue: The Drake, 2 Drake St, Freeman’s Bay
Tickets: $20/$18 Groups 6+ $18
Bookings: www.eventfinder.co.nz or cash at the Door.

RE: Air New Zealand’s “Cougar” Ad

“I am so tired with people saying “it’s just a joke”. I worked for Rape Crisis for 7 years. My work there confirmed NOTHING is funny about anything which demeans anyone for sexual behaviour (older women enjoying their sexuality). Nor is it funny to show predatory sexual behaviour of either sex. That ad does show sexual abuse. Not funny, let me assure you. How would we feel if it was a murder parody? Kill for a seat perhaps?

We have so many indications that women especially, but guys too, are being reduced to only their sexuality (watched any music vids recently – Justin Timberlake, et al?) and being dumped or made fun of when older (Judy Bailey). Aren’t men incredibly fed up too with being shown as a pack of wimps (also see “Whipped” ice block ad)? And how lazy are copy writers getting?

And now older women are 35 plus and desperate, reduced to using physical force and payments to get a sexual partner?! Yes, let’s see more guys dumping their wives of many years for younger women – happening more and more. Women as playthings (Tiger Woods) and women using their sexuality to get fleeting fame and money (women who slept with Tiger Woods).

Younger people are having joyless sex without thought as a tool to keep a partner or because it’s expected. All of the above is indicative of a society not teaching respect and value for individuals. If you have ANY doubt that there is an continuum of abuse from seemingly “fun” ads like this to soft porn to hard core violence watch “This Is Not a Love Story” an old but pertinent, Canadian documentary.”
We are naughty, we make sexual references but, in the heat of the moment, if any actor goes over the mark, then you – the audience – can remind them. Our audiences are supportive, playful and over all don’t give us a hard time. Improv brings out the best in audiences but they will wail at any comment that tips too far. Fair enough too. Our stand-up comedy artists in Auckland has certainly become interesting, doubly funny and so watchable since dumping most old, misogynistic material and replacing it with quick witted, intelligent observational comedy.
ConArtists has lots of fine, very funny actors who have signed up for a risky profession but we all have to be on the look out that we are treating every person with the same playful humour and that our innuendos are never a laugh too far.

Clare Kelso
Creative Director, ConArtists

Alternately, we’ll be squishing into Penny’s car for a 4-hour drive to Whakatane for the premiere of ConArtists’ first all female cast in ‘Austen Found: The undiscovered Musicals of Jane Austen’.    This is an entirely improvised musical in the style of Jane Austen and, hopefully, true to the Regency Period. It’s also the beginning of a thrilling road trip.

After Whakatane, it’s off to the Hamilton Garden Festival (Feb 21 & 22) to perform in a beautiful conservatory that is ludicrously perfect for our Regency romp.  You could just imagine Jane Austen fingering the pianoforte or eating a strawberry off the vine.  We are going to look as cute as a half crown in our floral regency gowns and bonnets.  We even made the bonnets ourselves with the help of a U-Tube instructional.  U-Tube has everything!  I burned my fingers on the glue gun more times then you could say “I will not raise any outcry; I will keep my ill humor to myself.” (Emma)

Then we’re leaving on a jet plane for the Adelaide Fringe Festival for 3 weeks.  I hope the glue doesn’t melt in the Adelaide heat or we’re all in big trouble.  This will be an exercise in patience as our four women and one man cast live in a 2-bedroom motel.  Robbie, our token male, is a brilliant muso who improvises like a dream.  Then there’s Stayci, Lucy and Penny.  Penny has been the stalwart, doing all the hard work and putting all the pieces together.   She’s been a solo performer for years so I think she’s delirious with joy that she’s finally got mates to play and perform with.  It’s tough being the only one handing out your flyers.

I snore a little so that will be a challenge for her as well.  We’re bunking together.  Our ticket sales are at 36% so we’re pretty pleased by that.  There’s a Jane Austen Club in Adelaide who have got their tickets and dance cards ready. Bless.

We’ve been enormously girly swat about this production.  We rehearse conscientiously, trotting out all the various characters that Jane Austen has created.  We’ve worked on the language of the time, our knowledge of history and manners and the various modes of transport, dress and what they ate.  I’d love to sample some Jugged Hare, Beetroot Pancakes and Stuffed Boars Head though I could happily pass on the Blue cheese with Maggots.

We’ve watched every version of Emma, Mansfield Park, Northanger Abbey, Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility.   I am slowly making my way through the novels.  I am currently reading “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-smith.  In this novel version, Elizabeth Bennet of Hertfordshire has a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, as well as the weaponry of Europe and the fighting styles of the Kyoto Masters.  She’s a Zombie slayer and these undead, who have been afflicted by a mysterious plague, are bringing mayhem to the quiet English countryside.  It’s hysterical.

Lori Dungey
ConArtists Creative Director

It was (ConArtist creative director) Greg Cooper’s idea to make a show based around the current enthusiasm, nay, hysteria for the vampire genre.  Then he promptly buggered off to do a show about Edgar Allan Poe in Christchurch.   Irony or poetic justice, you be the judge.

The group (or, now that I’m fluent in vampire – nest) was formed and Penny Ashton, Nigel Burrows, Clare Kelso, Chris Neels and myself put ourselves on a strict diet of Twilight, True Blood and various calorific offerings as we researched the genre.  It soon became apparent that Clare was overqualified.  The woman owns every season of Buffy ever made and can quote Anne Rice down to the page number.

So armed with our resident expert in vampire law and a free rehearsal space (we love the mighty Drake) we set upon 6 weeks of workshopping – a hilarious process where we learned many new skills and challenges, including you can’t enter a scene as your vampire character and cheerfully announce “Good Morning”!  Not unless you plan to launch yourself into an instant fiery death.

Actually we did practise instant fiery deaths.  It involved a demonstration from our resident dance captain Penny Ashton and proved impossible to recreate without going into a jazz ballet run in our attempts to exit invisibly.  We also had decisions to make about fangs – to imply or to costume?  Nigel was particularly keen on the latter, although his enthusiasm seemed to wane after he was put in the unfortunate position of having to converse with local constabulary in the middle of the night whilst wearing them.  His story goes he was ‘just trying them out for size’ …

Fangs or no fangs, we had to come to terms with the fact necks had to be bitten.  After one last particularly enthusiastic session in Wellington, Chris found himself performing his Bite Me: Fangprov debut sporting an impressive hickey.

The festival is a fantastic initiative of WIT: The Wellington Improv Troupe.  This year there were more shows, including two from Impro Melbourne, and more chances to jam with other players, including our great pals from Christchurch’s Court Jesters – whose show quite coincidentally had exactly the same costume concept as ours.  (And if you wonder why a vampire show requires gingham, checks and denim, just watch an episode or two of True Blood.)   Friends were made.  Notes were shared.  Workshops were attended, even after late night Fringe Bar karaoke sessions involving tequila.  And, like Austen Found: The Undiscovered Musicals of Jane Austen (see what I mean about a colon?), we hope this new show proves just as immortal.

Cast of Bite Me

Stayci Taylor is an actor with ConArtists and directed Bite Me: Fangprov for the New Zealand Improv Festival, Bats Theatre, Wellington 7 – 10 October 2009

Location: Auckland

Type: Part time, hours to suit

Pay: Commission based earnings

Your reference: Telesales required

Want to work from home?

We are looking for someone to join us as a Telesales marketing person.  We need to promote our services and business to the leading businesses in New Zealand.

What is our business?
ConArtists is the home of Theatresports™.  We deliver top quality Entertainment, MCs and Team Building training for Corporate clients. Visit our website on www.conartists.co.nz

The role requires the successful applicant to organise appointments for our Creative Directors to visit potential corporate clients to discuss with them their needs for staff and client entertainment, MCs and training.  No previous experience with ConArtists is required, we will provide guidelines and scripts.  Experience is sales is required.

The ideal applicant for this position would be:

• Goal Orientated, reliable, self motivated and target driven.
• Well spoken with a good command of English along with confidence & enthusiasm.
• Able to establish a calling routine with good record keeping.
• Available for immediate start with flexible daytime only work hours.

You will need to:
Have a computer with Excel, a good internet connection and a land line.

Employment will be as a contractor and payment will be commission based. You will be required to supply an IR330.

Please email comedy@conartists.co.nz with your details and an explanation of why you think you would be suitable for this role, or, contact Paula Forbes on a Tuesday or Friday on 0800 555 744. Initial interviews will be via phone.

They’ll mix and mingle with you and make sure everything is to your liking before seating you and serving up. Add to this a 30 minute comedy show where they share with you the Coasts way of entertaining themselves on a barmy night. Stories, Songs, Poems and Interviews all focused on you and yours and made up on the spot.  Once that’s done it’s time for dessert and for them to get to the dishes, leaving you to have a nightcap and slowly make your way home.

Come on down and say hi and have a fun night out with friends, family or colleagues in a little piece of the coast in the heart of the city.  No mess to clean up or organising required, just turn up for a great night out!

Public Shows includes 3 Course Dinner
Saturday 14th, 21st & 18th November
Saturday 5th & 12th December
No minimum numbers required on these dates
Make a booking for 60 people or more & have your own show on any night

Book now by calling The Drake 09 307 3220