“If you’re keen to be titillated and don’t mind more risqué subject matter, you’ll have a ball. “Whose Line is it Anyway” meets an uncensored “Carry-On” film…Theatreview

A second helping of live, sexy stories, brought back by pubic demand.  ConArtists gave great

performance last year but they’re all ready to go again.  Irreverent, funny-cause-it’s-true naughtiness.

From unbridled lust to blind dates and all the other sexy games people play, ConArtists are getting sticky with it.  And, although the stories are from the audience, ConArtists are offering protection.  The audience fill out their story suggestions BEFORE the show and all are kept faceless – like some people’s sex lives.

The ConArtists company has new faces alongside the quick witted and wicked senior members of one of the longest and most experienced group of entertainers in New Zealand.

Cast includes:  Penny Ashton, Geoffrey Dolan, Lori Dungey, Aaron Ward, Allan Roberts, Lindsay Brown, Moody Hikmet, Greg Cooper, Nigel Burrows, Robert Mignault, Simon Cameron, Stayci Taylor, TM Bishop, Chris Neels and Clare Kelso.

SLI tells stories of hook ups, break ups, bust ups and much more.  Last year the, sold out to bursting houses, show saw audience members happily suppling many interesting and surprising personal stories of love and lust.  There’s good old fashioned formats as well.  See actors desperately trying to work out, in a morning-after scenario, what famous person they slept with last night.  What excuse will they have offered to slip away and the cocktail that contributed to the tryst and the hangover?

“There’s a fine line between offensive smut and witty smut” says Clare Kelso, senior member and Creative Director of ConArtists “and I think we walk the tightrope well with the occasional crashing fall”.

TICKETING:       Eventfinder.co.nz

INFO:                09 307-3641

TICKETS            General $20 Concession (Students/Seniors) $18

Dates:                                       April: 28^th – 29^th – 30^th May:    1^st – 5^th – 6^th – 7^th -8^th – and 12^th – 13^th – 14^th – 15th

Venue:                                      The Drake, 2 Drake St, Freeman’s Bay

Tickets:                                     $20/$18 Groups 6+ $18 and COMBO deal with Bite Me $30

Bookings:                                  www.eventfinder.co.nz or at the Door.

“They make improv look so easy you’ll think you could get up and give it a go..” Theatreview

After last year’s sell-out, Austen Found, ConArtists is back for a bloody good time to get your pulses racing. Drawing on a rich vein of myths, legends and Twilight rip-offs, these pallid improvisers will sing, dance and mug their undead Vampire hearts out for your living pleasure. They’ll suck, BUT it’ll be O Positive for Awesome.

Whether you’re Team Jacob, Team Edward or batting for the other team, you’re guaranteed a laugh as we illustrate that Vampires….they’re so hot right now.

Penny Ashton is a comedienne and actor and has performed both Improv and her solo comedy shows from Adelaide to Edinburgh to Gore. She represented NZ at the Theatresports World Cup in Germany in 2006 and was victorious at the Edmonton Improvaganza in 2003. She has appeared on 7 Days, Breakfast and Radio NZ National as a social commentator and was also the originator of Austen Found and has enjoyed touring it extensively since.

Stayci Taylor is a graduate of the John Bolton Theatre School in Melbourne and has trained with Phillipe Gaulier in London and Paris. She has travelled extensively throughout NZ and the world with improv and is a senior writer for Maori Programming in NZ. She is also one of the originators of the TV Comedy Series Brown Brothers.

Nigel Burrows has performed both improv nationally and internationally for over 20 years. As a core cast member of Auckland Theatresports from 1988, Nigel also represented Auckland on two occasions for the televised Auckland and Wellington National Champs and Performed at The Edmonton Fringe- International Theatresports Champs 1991.

Clare Kelso has been a Producer, Creative Director, Actor and Mentor at ConArtists, the Home of Theatresports, for 22 years this September. Other accolades include literally thousands of public performances and winning New Zealand Playwright of the Year.

Chris Neels is a third year student at Unitec’s School of Performance and Screen Arts and was part of a team that won the school’s competition two years in a row (2004 – 2005). Although he is not actually a vampire, Chris did double for Robert Patinson as Edward Cullen’s stunt double.

AUCKLAND
Dates: 5th – 8th and 12th – 15th 7pm
Venue: The Drake, 2 Drake St, Freeman’s Bay
Tickets: $20/$18 Groups 6+ $18
Bookings: www.eventfinder.co.nz or cash at the Door.

RE: Air New Zealand’s “Cougar” Ad

“I am so tired with people saying “it’s just a joke”. I worked for Rape Crisis for 7 years. My work there confirmed NOTHING is funny about anything which demeans anyone for sexual behaviour (older women enjoying their sexuality). Nor is it funny to show predatory sexual behaviour of either sex. That ad does show sexual abuse. Not funny, let me assure you. How would we feel if it was a murder parody? Kill for a seat perhaps?

We have so many indications that women especially, but guys too, are being reduced to only their sexuality (watched any music vids recently – Justin Timberlake, et al?) and being dumped or made fun of when older (Judy Bailey). Aren’t men incredibly fed up too with being shown as a pack of wimps (also see “Whipped” ice block ad)? And how lazy are copy writers getting?

And now older women are 35 plus and desperate, reduced to using physical force and payments to get a sexual partner?! Yes, let’s see more guys dumping their wives of many years for younger women – happening more and more. Women as playthings (Tiger Woods) and women using their sexuality to get fleeting fame and money (women who slept with Tiger Woods).

Younger people are having joyless sex without thought as a tool to keep a partner or because it’s expected. All of the above is indicative of a society not teaching respect and value for individuals. If you have ANY doubt that there is an continuum of abuse from seemingly “fun” ads like this to soft porn to hard core violence watch “This Is Not a Love Story” an old but pertinent, Canadian documentary.”
We are naughty, we make sexual references but, in the heat of the moment, if any actor goes over the mark, then you – the audience – can remind them. Our audiences are supportive, playful and over all don’t give us a hard time. Improv brings out the best in audiences but they will wail at any comment that tips too far. Fair enough too. Our stand-up comedy artists in Auckland has certainly become interesting, doubly funny and so watchable since dumping most old, misogynistic material and replacing it with quick witted, intelligent observational comedy.
ConArtists has lots of fine, very funny actors who have signed up for a risky profession but we all have to be on the look out that we are treating every person with the same playful humour and that our innuendos are never a laugh too far.

Clare Kelso
Creative Director, ConArtists

Alternately, we’ll be squishing into Penny’s car for a 4-hour drive to Whakatane for the premiere of ConArtists’ first all female cast in ‘Austen Found: The undiscovered Musicals of Jane Austen’.    This is an entirely improvised musical in the style of Jane Austen and, hopefully, true to the Regency Period. It’s also the beginning of a thrilling road trip.

After Whakatane, it’s off to the Hamilton Garden Festival (Feb 21 & 22) to perform in a beautiful conservatory that is ludicrously perfect for our Regency romp.  You could just imagine Jane Austen fingering the pianoforte or eating a strawberry off the vine.  We are going to look as cute as a half crown in our floral regency gowns and bonnets.  We even made the bonnets ourselves with the help of a U-Tube instructional.  U-Tube has everything!  I burned my fingers on the glue gun more times then you could say “I will not raise any outcry; I will keep my ill humor to myself.” (Emma)

Then we’re leaving on a jet plane for the Adelaide Fringe Festival for 3 weeks.  I hope the glue doesn’t melt in the Adelaide heat or we’re all in big trouble.  This will be an exercise in patience as our four women and one man cast live in a 2-bedroom motel.  Robbie, our token male, is a brilliant muso who improvises like a dream.  Then there’s Stayci, Lucy and Penny.  Penny has been the stalwart, doing all the hard work and putting all the pieces together.   She’s been a solo performer for years so I think she’s delirious with joy that she’s finally got mates to play and perform with.  It’s tough being the only one handing out your flyers.

I snore a little so that will be a challenge for her as well.  We’re bunking together.  Our ticket sales are at 36% so we’re pretty pleased by that.  There’s a Jane Austen Club in Adelaide who have got their tickets and dance cards ready. Bless.

We’ve been enormously girly swat about this production.  We rehearse conscientiously, trotting out all the various characters that Jane Austen has created.  We’ve worked on the language of the time, our knowledge of history and manners and the various modes of transport, dress and what they ate.  I’d love to sample some Jugged Hare, Beetroot Pancakes and Stuffed Boars Head though I could happily pass on the Blue cheese with Maggots.

We’ve watched every version of Emma, Mansfield Park, Northanger Abbey, Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility.   I am slowly making my way through the novels.  I am currently reading “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-smith.  In this novel version, Elizabeth Bennet of Hertfordshire has a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, as well as the weaponry of Europe and the fighting styles of the Kyoto Masters.  She’s a Zombie slayer and these undead, who have been afflicted by a mysterious plague, are bringing mayhem to the quiet English countryside.  It’s hysterical.

Lori Dungey
ConArtists Creative Director

Every year about 4,000 people gather from all over Europe and England, from Friday to Sunday night, to celebrate everything that is LOTR. It’s a mad mixture of sword craft lectures, stage fighting workshops, lectures on the Elvyn language (yes, there is an Elvyn language), Celtic history, costume parades, talent competitions, Tolkien discussions etc… Many of the “fans” who attend wear costumes of their favourite character or “thing” for 3 days. One year a gal came as the Party Tree, complete with dancing Hobbits and fairy lights. She couldn’t sit and had to lie down on the back seat of a car to get to the convention. There’s more Gandolph’s, Treebeard’s, Lady of Lothlorien’s, Legolas’, and Frodo’s then you could shake a stick at. Many who attend spend countless hours embroidering dresses and hammering out armor. I love these 2 girls who come every year as the Riders of Rohan. They’re decked out in armor and even have horses. Two child-size horses, on wheels and they’ve got armor as well. They have the movie sound track in a ghetto blaster tucked under one of the horses. The rousing soundtrack plays as they get pulled up and down the hallways of Gondor.

Two years ago, with the decline in interest of LOTR (It’s been 10 years!) they incorporated actors from Harry Potter and Pirates of the Caribbean. Last year they included Twilight actors, so a very large number of young girls attended.

I’m part of the Kiwi contingent that is there every year, along with the real international stars. During the day, my job is to chat and mingle with the “fans”, turn up for the autograph signings, picture posing and teach a couple of improvisation workshops. I do one solo 50-minute slot for about 1,500 “fans” where I present a short film that I’ve made during the year. It always features some silly adventure of Mrs. Bracegirdle. Hysterical thing is I’m actually wearing a Heidi outfit I got for some corporate gig, but no one seems to care.

Then in the evenings, the Kiwis do some madcap improv. We try to incorporate themes from the LOTR, as well as Twilight and Harry Potter as well as getting some of the real “stars” involved. They love it because they have a great time and they end up looking adorable. In one scene we recreated a date in the style of fairy tale characters with a young girl we plucked from the audience. We brought up another “volunteer” from the audience who turned out to be the heart throb star from an American TV Vampire show called Blood Ties. The “fans” went mad. Think of 3,000 screaming girls and you’d be about right.

We also used a couple of German actors who voiced Twilight. It’s a huge industry in Germany and all TV shows and movies are dubbed into German. They’re very popular and the audience went ballistic when we did this crazy scene where each Kiwi actor was assigned an “interpreter”. Their job was to interpret into German every line and noise made by the Kiwis. They stood as close as they could and the scene got faster and louder and everyone was working as hard as they could to keep up with everyone else. Very enjoyable mayhem.

Then it’s all over. That is, until the next year, if you’re fortunate enough to get an invite back. I’m happy to report I’ve got my invite for 2010 so I’m getting ready for another Bracegirdle production.